stealth vommer

i want to preface all of this by noting that i have had limited contact with other humans for the past few days, largely the result of apartmentsitting for katherine while she and her roommates fled the state.  my apartmentsitting duties were/are manifold:

- feeding the cat
- warily following the cat from room to room and, when it appears that the cat is about to barf, place the cat on a hardwood surface
-
-
-
- i forget

thus far, i have been doing an excellent job, and also i have managed to burn/lacerate 30% of my fingers, which is handy, because the young dads have a gig coming up. the young dads—i feel like i haven’t adequately explained this yet—are a comedy-pop duo that micah and i started a few months ago. recently we’ve booked a bunch of gigs, including a comedy club on january third. the booking process went like this:

comedy club: we just checked out your myspace page, and you guys are hilarious! LOL!!
micah: thanks!
comedy club: ROTFL?!?!
micah: okay!
comedy club: we’d love to have you perform at our Up-and-Coming Talent Showcase!
micah: that sounds great.
comedy club: you will need to bring eight guests! if they do not rsvp, you are not guaranteed a slot!
micah: well, hmmm.
me: we don’t yet so much have “fans.” but if y
comedy club: the slots are ten minutes long.
micah: yeah, it might be hard to get eight peop
comedy club: cover is twenty dollars and there is a two-drink minimum.
me:
micah: um, we have to go.
me:
me: REEEET
micah: seriously, let’s get out of here.
me: BERRNCK
comedy club: ten dollar cover.
me: deal.

somehow we actually are doing it. eastville comedy club, jan. 3, evening, not sure exactly what time. $10 cover plus two-drink minimum. let us know if you actually want to go to that. right now we do not so much have eight people.

it is toweringly unlikely that this has any relevance to your life, but i have also started writing a fantasy basketball column for hoopsvibe.com, the basketball arm of CraveOnline, “your source for everything that males crave on the net.” that’s right: males. we write for human men, yes, but we also write for hedgehogs, porpoises, etc. sometimes i sit around brainstorming alternative slogans for CraveOnline. “for every inch of your penis, we have a humorous, thought-provoking fantasy basketball column!” “CraveOnline: a virtual salve for your virtually enlarged prostate.”

in conclusion, my fantasy basketball column runs every monday, and it is awesome.