exercise in self-loathing
so first of all, “stuff white people like” has achieved a major internet-popularity point of inflection, defined as “me finding out about it.” this happened over the weekend, prior to some aggressive pickup basketball at tufts. (in passing: if you like being humped, elbowed, and then yelled at by in-the-future-obese-but-for-the-time-being-just-unnecessarily-bulky guys, the pickup basketball scene at tufts is excellent.)
me: …and then on the way home i realized, the problem was that we were grinding intermittently. like, every other five minutes we’d just sort of take a break. and then it was like, back to work! so that sort of killed the vibe. i assume responsibility, obviously.
robbie: right.
me: so that was pretty much my high school prom.
robbie: oh, so there’s this hilarious blog i found the other day.
me: oh yeah?
robbie: yeah, it’s called “Stuff White People Like.”
me: oho!
robbie: yeah!
me, expecting horrible things: like what do they have?
robbie: let’s see. “expensive sandwiches,” that was one.
me:
robbie: mos def was on there.
me:
robbie: “difficult breakups,” because then you can write a lot of whiny
me: um, this is hitting a little close to home.
robbie: i know!
in my formulation, “stuff white people like” has two broad categories:
items that are wonderful but for some reason you should feel guilty about them
in this category we have bicycles, recycling, michel gondry, and study abroad. this is all in the last fifteen entries. i would delve further into the archives, but i have already stapled my own face a bunch of times. for example: what the hell is wrong with recycling? this, apparently:
“Recycling is fantastic! You can still buy all the stuff you like (bottled water, beer, wine, organic iced tea, and cans of all varieties) and then when you’re done you just put it in a DIFFERENT bin than where you would throw your other garbage. And boom! Environment saved! Everyone feels great, it’s so easy!”
so, i’m sort of confused. these points make perfect sense, except that they have been delivered in the tone of a sneering, braying jackass. let’s break them down even further:
recycling benefits the environment
few would dispute this.
recycling does not require major lifestyle changes
also not contentious.
YOU SUCK FOR RECYCLING.
oh. i… i see.
a few entries are aimed at white people’s enjoyment of travel. needless to say, it is great fun to mock the annoying habits of travelers. nonetheless, it seems unfair to blame americans for wanting to escape an increasingly materialistic and jaundiced society experiencing a form of post-imperial hangover.
on that note, the other category is:
items that caricature white people’s propensity for narcissism/solipsism/sanctimony/self-pity/self-regard
this category includes being the only white person around, difficult breakups, standing still at concerts, and knowing what’s best for poor people.
i don’t want to go on yet another of my tired little anti-capitalist soliloquies (JUST KIDDING I TOTALLY DO), but i’m pretty sure that anyone who believes this blog is about race and not class is mentally retarded. after all, we are not talking about the white people who love football and drive comically large compensatory-for-penis vehicles. instead we are using the formula “white people” = “american upper middle class.” it’s a lot less edgy, i’ll grant you, to say:
“A great way to make the American upper middle class feel good is to tell them about situations where poor people changed how they were doing things because they were given the ‘more American upper middle class’ option.”
i would also bet a bag of artisanal german gummi candy that the authors of the blog themselves are aumc, in which case the whole shebang is an exercise in self-loathing so exquisitely self-referential that i am close to having an orgasm just thinking about it. (and even if it’s not, it’s clearly directed at upper-middle class readers. no one else reads trendy omg-you-have-to-read-this blogs, first of all, and definitely no one outside of the aumc is going to be like, “that’s hilarious! because it’s so true.“)
in other words: “stuff white people like” is probably the whitest blog i have ever read.
so to conclude: kindly nibble my junk.
[update: i knew it.]
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- Published:
- 02.25.08 / 9am
- Category:
- blog